Today, my eyes fell onto the journal I wrote before this one, back from 18 months or so ago, more precisely on the sentence that was stating I was getting better at proving I'm not dying because it had merely been some 10 months since my last entry.
So I am currently fully appreciating this very fine slice of situationnal irony I've gotten myself into here. xP
Actually, I was going through most my old stuff be it scraps, gallery or journals in order to do some serious cleanup... Which made me cringe. Raw data is unforgiving, and reminded me of how I didn't know the first thing about writing a single sentence in proper english. These grammar mistakes, vocabulary swaps and typos make me want to bang my head against the nearest wall, because surely it shouldn't be allowed to be this bad, right?
Apparently it at least was at the time the crime was commited.
So I kind of feel like apologizing to the world for inflicting these insults to the elegance, beauty and subtility of the english language. The only excuse I can offer is that I was quite young. Sorry? xD
While we're on the topic of old writing... With a fair bit of time having passed between now and when I registered (five years already? No way! O__o), I realize how much I wrote like a spoiled, arrogant, conceinted little brat. I can't describe it any other way, I really sounded (an maybe still sound) like a complete asshole. My apologies for that, as well. I hope my improvement when it comes to english will have gotten rid of or at least diminished these awful writing manners of mine. Who knows, in five more years I might be trying to delete this journal because of how terrible I was in there? xD
But I disgress, as ususal. It has earned me more inconveniences than rewards, by the way, yet I still can't seem to be able help it. *hopeless*
So, let's get on with the recent and not-so-recent news:General art:
Contrary to what it seems, I haven't completely given up on art as a whole. I have been doodling from time to time, as usual with hudge breaks, but there's litterally no skills left to lose, so I'm playing it quite safe anyway.
I have however long ago stopped putting anything on display anywhere.
I have started to dabble in watercolors, though... With mixed results. The colors are wonderful and make me want to go crazy with the paint, but they do what watercolors do best, which is having a mind of their own. I feel like I'm just giving color to the paper and letting the pigments do their thing in their own little corner. For a control freak like me, this closely resembles artist purgatory. lol. I must be hudge masochist somehow.
There might be some broadening amongst the subjects too, since I have stronger and stronger inclinations towards animals other than horses, or even *gasp* outsiders to the animal realm. We'll see
I have also thought about doing something aikido-related... But to my astonishment I couldn't. I have a representation, a memory of what it is, however it isn't translated to anything remotely interesting visually speaking. Weird but true. *is so curious she'll probably end up digging into the matter sooner or later* xP
On another weird art-related note, I have had a period of time during which I was reading tons of mangas, and as a result was starting to "see" my environment as a reference which I would then use to go through the mental process of creating the necessary lines. I currently find myself noticing colors and breaking them down to the classic hues available to painters. I'm just hoping there will be some visualizing textures next since it's still a personnal landmine. haha. Computer issues:
I have long since found a way to fix the home computer, however at the moment I'm trying to figure out why my trusted laptop isn't working anymore. It's mostly an issue of me being lazy and stingy so I want to be absolutely certain before I buy spare parts.
There hasn't been any data loss since I found ways to recover all that was worth the effort, so no issues to be expected on this front, at least. Photography:
I have plans for my gallery that involve some extensive cleaning and maybe giving up photography alltogether. I don't really go anywhere with my camera, and -even if my cell phone can take decent pictures- I really don't like being seen pointing devices at things and possibly people. So I haven't dabbled in photography in ages unless it is somehow required (like when somebody will ask me to take a picture of something). It has come to the point where I'm nearing my hatred levels for being included in any picture at all, which is quite a lot already. haha. (I have the excuse of not being photogenic, like not at all)
The two might be related, coming to think of it. I wouldn't want to anger or upset people as I know I would potentially be if our positions were reversed. It's kind of like those obnoxious people that up and come to an unknown horse and start slapping (petting or scratching is too gentle a term for what they do) a random part like it's an extension of their own body. I've always found it incredibly disrespectful, which is precisely why I always try to "ask" permission with my body language first, be it an animal or a human... And also expect that I be extended the same courtesy in return, which sadly isn't the case from time to time. Dx. Oh well, I can now legitimately say that due to having aikido training, it would be better for everybody involved if we avoid any and all surprise contacts. lol. As astonishing as it is, I haven't found a single place on earth where there is more mutual respect than in a dojo, by the way.
To get back to the initial photography topic, I did and still do enjoy trying to capture a good scene, find interesting angles and such. I find myself thinking that I'd like to take pictures with my eyes in order to be able to upload them later, and that it's too bad I can't just "get away" with snapping some quick shots right when I need to. DxWriting:
As for writing... Trust me, this is the one thing I would give up on last of all. I am well aware that it is the area I have the least trouble with, even if it's english instead of french. I do enjoy it too, but somehow I end up valuing visual work, very traditionnal, mostly in a realistic style... With a few exceptions where I indulge in colorful watercolor paintings just because. xP And since I'm stubborn like that I'll probably keep on trying in an area that isn't really my strength instead of one where I'd be more productive with better results. Oh well.
For the ones who made it all the way to the bottom, I'm leaving you with a quote from Gustavo Adolfo Bécquer which will most certainly be leaving me cringing with shame a few years from now. Let's not spoil our future fun and get on with it, shall we? lol.
No digáis que, agotado tu tesoro,
de asuntos falta, enmudeción la lira;
podrá no haber poetas; pero siempre
If I attempt to clumsily translate this from a language I barely understand to another that isn't mine from birth, it will go like this (all mistakes are mine, the rest is thanks to Wordreference):
Do not say that, having exhausted your treasure,
of subjects lacking, silent is the lyre;
there may be no poets; but there will always
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